|
|
06.19.99 i hate it when people blame shit on you when you were just sitting there minding your own business not doing a damn thing at all. i hate it when that happens. don't you? my friends have scattered since school let out. some are at the beach. some are in other countries. and most just have jobs, so i don't get to see them anymore. i miss you guys... anyone there? oh well, better luck next time. thank god i have chris or else i think i'd go crazy. 06.18.99 how do ya like my new thingy? the thing that says different stuff everytime you come to this page right above this sentence... i think it's pretty kewl. 06.17.99 it's raining today. rain sometimes makes people sad. i'm happy today. i love love. that's about all i have to say. i love being in love. You'll never share real love Until you love yourself - I should know 06.15.99 I feel bad that you feel bad about me feeling bad about you feeling bad about what I said about what you said about me not being able to share a feeling... Yes I knew that now that you know that I didn't know that you didn't know that when I said no I meant yes I know and that now I know that you knew and you adore me... I was wrong to say you were wrong to say I was wrong about you being wrong... j. larson confusing? yes. am i? yes. my life is confusing. yes. 06.14.99 you may have noticed some changes. well, then you've been paying attention. i have made a lot of changes on my page in the last few days. it's almost complete. i hope you like. on a more serious note... i am sad. of course it's all about this damn site again. i am trying to fix things to meet approval, but it's really hard and it's not a easy as it may look. so until i have it to perfection [which is what i am all about] this is what i have for now. 06.12.99 eight months. that's what today is. eight months we have been going out. we hit a few bumps. but we'll be all right. that's what the 'luv' is for on my main page. click on it to read a lil about me + my baby. it's not quite finished only because i haven't had the time to make any graphics. but you get the drift from what is there. 06.09.99 [part 3] it looks as though we will work things out now. i feel so much better. i felt as though a piece of me had died today. the emptiness inside was too much for me to bare. i don't think i could have gone on as a whole person. it would have been too hard for me to live. but i thank all that is good in this world for giving me another chance. i am so in love with you. i kept listening to this song today that said look me in the eye i'm about to die can you live your life without me and kept crying. please don't let me die. i love you too much. love boe boe. 06.09.99 [part 2] i lost my love. all in one day. i can't believe this is happening to me. i'm so sorry for what i have done. i wish i could change things, but i guess it's too late for that. i love you still and always will. remember that. and try to look for the good... not the bad. 06.09.99 i got home from San Francisco the other day and i had a wonderful time there. i love that city, but that's not what i wanted to talk about now. eight months ago today i met the love of my life. i never thought i would fall so in love with someone at such a young age and so quickly. i admit at first i didn't think it was love... i mean, does anyone ever really fall in love at first sight? i didn't think so. but i did fall head over heels for the person i love in time. i made some mistakes along the way, but i am human. i know that doesn't forgive me for what i have done in the past, but i hope it will help when i say that i have learned from my mistakes and i know in my heart of hearts that they will never happen again. i fell in love with the sweetest most loving and caring boy i could ever find. i could search the world over and never find another human being even close to my chris. i love him so much... does it matter that i'm gay? i mean... does it really matter all that much? when two people are in love does it matter that we might be of the same sex? i realize it may matter to a lot of people. but it most certainly doesn't matter to me and i am taking this time right now to try to overcome my closet issues though they may not be all that big... they are killing me inside [and outside]. so there you have it. i am gay and i am in love with my boyfriend chris. no more hiding it. no more secrets. just the plain truth straight from my heart. i love you chris and i always will. 06.01.99 a new month. it's been hard these past couple of weeks. my life hasn't been what it used to be... i miss my baby when it gets late at night and the silence is almost deafening. that's not the only time, but that's when it gets real hard to bare it. things will be getting back to normal now. praise you. sometimes i forget the little things that make it all tick. i forget how to think sometimes. i lose myself in the light. but i'm finding the right footing again. this is just my way of expressing myself. my way to be heard i guess. nothing too personal. but everyone needs to be heard... one way or another. 05.28.99 my life is changing right before my eyes. i'm leaving a piece of childhood behind tonight. i get upset when the people i love get upset with me... i'm sorry. you know how much i luv ya honey buh honey and i'm not finished with this site... i was planning on putting you in it. i just haven't had much time to work on this site yet [because i spend all my free time talking to you baby]. luv always 05.25.99 i added new art. expect more to come later. 05.22.99 i have an idea. i finally know what i'm going to do with my art page. it will be a long while before i have it finished. i don't even know when i'm going to start. gotta go spend quality time with the family. 05.21.99 i got tori amos tickets today. i am happy as a clam. is there something missing to this site? that's what i heard. well, it's not finished yet... maybe that's what it is. hmmmmm i'll figure it out lindsay :^) 05.18.99 the end of the school year is winding down and i just don't know what to do because everything is happening so fast. my family is visiting from california and kansas. i haven't seen them for years, so it's good to see them all again. i wish school would end already, but summer will be here soon enough and i just won't know what to do with myself. i get to go to san francisco for my first time in june and i can't wait. it'll be so much fun. joy. nuff said for now. 05.16.99 there is nothing more unpleasant than the odor of mendacity. 05.15.99 i finally got a guestbook added to my site so go sign it. i added some more links also, but i still have a lot more to add. i am so bored right now. that's why i keep updating my site. i should be doing homework, but that can wait until tomorrow. life is so frustrating right now. i have so much work to get done and it's killing me. in about a week or so i should be clear of it, but i can't wait that long. ack. well i should get going on starting some actual work. 05.13.99 [ i thought this was a funny story from my friend saara ] saara: I SAW AN OPPOSUM!!! me: no way saara: it was crossing the street and I followed it and then pulled over and got a good look at him I didn't know what he was at the time, it was just an animal I had never seen but then I told everyone about it the next day and I was told it was an opposum it was awesome 05.12.99 a start of a new page and a new look is always exciting i've had this site going for two days now and i haven't gotten much up on it yet, but that's kewl cuz i'm sure no one really cares anyhoo. whatevah i love working on my site, especially when i actually have something to work on. i always want to get things done right away when i get an idea. i can't sleep on it. i have to do it. with this site it's been different. i have so many ideas for it that i have to sleep on it so by the next day i'll have thought it through and know which idea i want to use. enough babbling... especially for my first entry. [ sheesh ] do i have anything of interest to say? no. do i ever? sometimes. i better end this now before i say something i may have to delete later on down the road. |